Challenge · Faith · Giving · Poor and Needy

freedom… to be poor…

This feels like a long story…
one I’m not sure where to begin…
it’s been so long in the making…

The call to write… teach… encourage others in His Word…
is not one I feel equipped… prepared… trained… to do…

This place… this blog… this table…
it’s the place of rough stuff… first drafts…
the pouring out… of what He’s pouring in…

So when she makes the challenge…
to promote this place… let more people know it’s here…
invite more to the table… openly…
I cringe…

She asks…
Where does this attitude come from…?

The question causes me to wrestle…
the wrestling with Him… turns into recognition of whining…
a prayer ensues…

I’m whining… Lord… forgive me…!
You know my challenge…
fear of putting too much of me…
in what I write here…
and wondering what people think…
and is it good enough…

But You call… and I give…
so it must be enough…
like the widow with her two cents…
she gave publicly… openly…
giving all she had…

She openly gave out of her poverty…
all she had… for all to see…

Lord… from the world’s perspective…
she was poor… pathetic…
but You saw her as one giving out of abundance…
an abundance of faith…

And he sat down opposite the treasury
and watched the people putting money into
the offering box. Many rich people put in large
sums. And a poor widow came in and put in
two small copper coins, which make a penny.
And he called his disciples to him and said to them,
“Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more
than all those who are contributing to the offering box.
For they all contributed out of their abundance,
but she out of her poverty has put in everything
she had, all she had to live on.”
Mark 12:41-44 ESV


Today… I’m that poor widow…
when it comes to writing about Your Word…

I’m poverty-stricken… when it comes to degrees…
diplomas… formal education… credentials…
regarding theology… Greek… Hebrew… 
and hermeneutics…

But here… I publicly lay out my offering…
giving what I believe You’re calling me to…

Giving willingly…
out of the abundance of faith… You have blessed me with…

Giving… writing…
based on the promise… that You will teach…

“I will put my teaching within them and write it on their hearts.
I will be their God, and they will be My people. No longer 
will one teach his neighbor or his brother, saying, 
‘Know the Lord,’ for they will all know Me, from the least
to the greatest of them” — this is the Lord’s declaration.
Jeremiah 31:33-34 HCSB
All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
and great shall be the peace of your children.
Isaiah 54:13 ESV
Giving everything I have… by faith… that it is You that I hear… and in faith… that if I get it wrong… You have the power to work it for good…

And we know that for those who love God all things
work together for good, for those who are called
according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28 ESV
Willing to go public…
hoping to please You…

So… today I go public… sharing my wrestling…
embracing the freedom… to be poor…
in the face of so much writing from those who are rich…
in degrees… credentials… education…
Understanding… my shame… the desire to stay invisible…
is really being ashamed of Him… of what He’s doing in me…
This freedom thing… it’s challenging…
but how I want to be free…
I wonder… is there something He’s calling you to…? where you feel poor… poverty-stricken…? not good enough to do…? no credentials…? according to the world…?
I encourage you… exercise your freedom… to be poor…
because in Him… whatever you give… will come out of His abundance…
[Note… the one who challenged me to go public… also said… I had to share my story… I have many… but today… this is the one I’m led to share… I’m the poor widow… openly giving… her two small coins… really less than two cents… dismissing the shame… of not being a legitimate teacher… in the eyes of the world… choosing to see me… through Him… Amen…]

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